I Quit Life

what an amazing lie.words just can't describe.mabey i'm just angry.or mabey i just don't care anymore.or mabey i just need to get away.either way.i quit lifeyes. yes i went there. and i don't care.

Take Me Back, Into Your Arms, There Are No Strangers

Have I mentioned how completely rad Chris Williams is? yeah he's the bombdiggity. totally brightened my night yesterday.Word to Ryne. You're the Buta to my Bread.I was able to chill with some cool people today between practices. Crystal is probably the freakiest chicka I've met. Not like wierd. But ok she does some crazy stuff with like ..Anyways. mat, ryn, duff, crystal you guys rock. freddy sucks cause he tripped me...loser. Oh adventures to Uncle Harry's . Fun Fun.Patrick is like hellllllllaaaa gangsta. If ever you hear him a gyasi fight...it's the funniest thing ever i lovem. but then again i'm pretty gansta. jp :P Yeah totally got my pimp walk on w/ jacobs fatty hatt. That guy rocks.This week ..ugh who am i kidding MONTH has been effin busy. I'm getting use to getting no sleep now. Last night I got 2 hours..that's a record..Well yeah. I havn't been able to hang out with people so today was really refreshing even though Freddy is an a hole. jp. you just suck alot.So i'm going to do a few more papers cause tomorrow is the big Boise game. Then friday is vet's day parade. and that night I'm going to be chillin w/ some of my old friends Janis, and Alyssa and MitchhhhhhODE at the BHS game. It's going to rock finnally getting to see my alma mater and best buds again.Friday I will be out at the Law Confernece in L.A. int'l Airport. How crazy is that. I'm going to get all prepped up in Law School shiat. Bombdiggity. yeah. I'm so stoked. It might sound boring to ya'll but I can't wait. I'm going to see Stanford, Yale, UCLA, Cornell, Hofstra, Harvard, NYU, Pepperdine, USC, Washington U, Loyola U in Chicago, CAL, UC Davis...those are the important ones. But there's over 150 law schools from around the country so yeah. rad.totally diggin O.A.R.

Uh Fk Hstry

Uh.. holy shit. I'm still awake. It's 5:20 a.m. and I've been doing these gawd damn history essays since 10pm yesterday night. I've gone through 2 redbulls. ha. I don't feel tired, but my eyes feel like they wiegh 5 tons. Uh i dunno. Uh so yeah fuck history. cuase ihstory sucks majorly yea. and yeah. who needsfuckin history enyways?! oh man. uh . screw this. y the f am writin in this thing when i should be sleepin? w./e i guess i'll just not sleep tonight again. haha i've got to catch up on some psych reading anyways. Afuck history. i'm in a pisssy mood right now can u tell? hehe ehe stupid parade had to go and screw me over some more. gawd damn! i'm going to break down riiiiiiiiigggghtttt!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!

Chasing the Ghost Of A Good Thing

Sometimes I wish I could just leave. I wish I could just get away from it all..just go to Vegas. Mark is so my hero. I wanna just leave, do everything stupid and come back refreshed and start my life over. But for now I think I'll just run...It's gotten to the point where I can't stand staying couped up at home I just feel suffocated and I just run. I run to any place that doesn't look familiar, and then I return. My parents treat me like a felon. I thought I'd get some freedom, but if anything they've latched on even tighter. They treat me like some imbicile. Keep throwing my age in my face, the break, my friends, I get no credit. I would love to just go out and have fun, but I have so much work, there seems to be no time left. I miss the girl I used to be. And I hate the fact that I've changed so much. It's wearing me out. So don't be surprised if one day you can't reach me.I'm sick of it.Keep thinking want you want.Close-minded. Ignorance. Typical.I won't take it anymore.I'll just up. and. Leave.

Do You Remember?

Current mood: peaceful

WARNING THIS POST IS .. sappyI Remember when..We went on the San Diego Cruz and everyone who liked anyone got their hearts broken.I used to go to Brenden's tennis practice and hold his sweater so that it wouldn't get dirty, but mainly cause I had a crush on him.Telling my parents I had a sectional and then going over to Bryants just to eat and do everything and nothing.Chillin in the park in Selma before preforming, and totally ravaging the ice cream man when ever he drove by.Going to Micky D's with los, bo, duf, bryant before tuesday night practicesEating lunch outside the leadership office cause that was the place to be...at the time lolOff campus lunches...starbucks, quiznos, taco bell, trader joes, hungry bear, que pasa.When everyone who was anyone went to Denny's after the gameMy first kiss....lol...awkward...My first break up....kyle mcdonald...My first (and only) love....Carlos FernandezIAJE New York Trip...walking down time square getting hassled by street vendors..and playin in the huge toy store, the deli across the street, subway, going to the site of 911, watchin Hiromi live, preforming Monster, brian nunes falling of the stage, the people havin sex in the stair well of the Hilton, ferry rides..Getting a call from Jacqui telling me that Mr. Shaghoian passed away.Kevicia doing Angelique's hair...Lying down in Carlos' lap, when he told me he that someday he's going to marry me...Having snowball fights at the rest stop on the way to Reno...drying our socks from the snow on the window ledge of the bus..our first kiss outside my house...Star gazing outside my house with caramel frapps..Getting detention for dress code..Holding hands in class....I remember when it was just you and me....and nothing could hurt us. Do I miss those days when everything was just so simple. I could relive those days all over again....

I need to write a song

wtf. I don't understand guys. Just guys in general. Like... ugh. whatever. I've had enough. There's just no winning is there? Don't even get me started on my parents. Crazy ass leachy control freaked parental units.. just. wtf?I need to write a song.It'll be called..."I'm about to Cuss"

It happens to the best of us

mood: indescribable

never again...I just can't do this anymore..I need my life backI guess when you realize how quickly your entire life can turn upside down...you just try harder to get it back.Imagine this.3 days a go my life was perfect. I had everything I needed, and everything I wanted.In 72 hours I managed to fuck it all up.Now I feel like I'm stuck here asking myself "how the hell did I do that?!"But there's just no choice but to pick up the pieces and start rebuilding.I can't do this emo crap for long. I miss that girl who was honest with herself and to others. That girl who was happy just being herself. She was delightful...