Orbicularis oris

This is not me! I have to quit this. Now I'm really frustrated.I'm going to just wait, now.Wait, for somebody to chase me instead of doing this stupid junior high girly crushing shit.Why am I not interested in guys that are interested in me? Oh I know why...they're douchebags, or perverts. Well, a lot of them...the rest of the time they're just not my type.Oh, and why am I interested in guys that are clueless, or either a million times out of my league? Oh I know, I have high standards. What the fuck?I miss being in a relationship, and having that stability. I see these couples around campus and it really does make me want to vomit. Oh the worse is when these really old married husbands and wives come into Starbucks and are holding hands and on the outside I'm like "awwwww how sweet" when really I'm like "dammit all to hell..." And yet I still find a way to say "How are you two lovebirds doing today?!...what can I get for ya!?" with a fucking smile on my face. When really all I can think in my mind is "get your lovey dovey wishy washy mushy gushy crap outa here.!!!" And then I see this damn highschool couples...I just wanna yell at them for some reason. But ,I have to restrain myself from giving them nasty pitful stares. Bitter? Just a bit. I think this all spawns from a little addiction I like to call envy. It's so much easier to hate people that are in love.(side note: But, really...Is it really necessary to drive a couple miles, get out of your car, walk all the way from the parking lot, into Starbucks, just to make out in front of our pasty case? You do know that thing is see through right? There's no need to be massaging each others' Orbicularis oris' when people are in line to get coffee.) --take a fucking hint.Ehhheem...Back to my point. I'm bitter, and stupid. I'm past the rebound stage finally. I'm tired of these boys. Fuck friends with benefits. Fuck boys who have more estrogen than me. Fuck infactuation. I need a good man. But for now, friends will have to do because I am tired of not being the girl I used to be, that nonchalant, frazzle free jenny to the los. I liked her; I miss her.This is going absolutley no where. But hey, it cleared my mind a bit.