New Year's Resolutions

I think this is definitly it.From now on, starting next semester, it's all about me. Not, in a conceided way of course, I just mean that I really need to put my priorities first. And that begins with school.So I give you my New Year's Resolutions:1. No more band- EVER. It's time to move on, and focus on more important things. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. It was fun, but I realized that it's not what I want to pursue in my life and I need to get over that and work towards my aspirations. Music will always be a part of my life, but I need this time to really get my life going on the track I want it to be going.2. No more skipping classes: For whatever reason, no matter how dull, meaningliess, brutal, ridiculous the class may be. No more. I have to sit through it at the very least.3. Cut down on pop/soda: Exceptions: Jone's Soda and Orangina. Main beverages will include tea, water and juice.4. Learn to play the guitar decently. Buy some more theory books, and some guitar music. Try to practice daily.5. Eat less student union food. No more wasting money everyday on (sorry Shantell)Tacobell , or Panda Express or (I'm sorry Ryne) Subway. From now on I'm going to try to bring food from home. Since I will have almost no time outside of school with 22 units, I need to make sure I watch what I eat. And yes Chris, I am going to take the 22 units. Thank-you for the warning, and the concern but I need to do this, for me. So you can tell me "I told you so" when I call you at 1 in the morning crying about how sucky life is, but this is just what I need to do.6. Get license & my own car; the keys to independence (no pun intended). It's about time don't you think?7. Spend less time on AIM, myspace, and facebook. They are distractions, and I've wasted so much time on these when I could be doing acutal work.The reason for all these goals? My grades. Dissapointing to say the least. No I did not get my 3.7. A faaaaaaar cry from it actually. 4 A's, 3 B's, 1 C, and surprisingly enough a D. That brought my GPA way down. I'm definitly going to take a lot of shit tomorrow morning when I show my parents my grades. They don't care about the A's or B's , the fact that I got a C will give them a seizure...I don't even want to think about what they're going to do to me when they see the big fat D. First time in my life I've ever gotten a D. God....when I saw it I just wanted to Die. ahh fuck. That's all I have to say. I am royally FUCKED! But, life goes on, all I can do now is work harder next semester and get that gpa raised.

Life is good. Very Good

Yes. I must say that it's pretty much rockin right now.Hangin with the old friends, and of course wonderful boyfriend hehe. Few lazy days here and there. Eating a lot, spending too much money. Indulgence= just what the doc ordered. Grades are for the most part in, with the exception of my lazy history and math professors. All A's and B's and err...one C+ which I'm trying to fix cause if I don't the parentals with surely rip my head off. Expecting a 3.7-3.8 overall. Not impressive, But not that shabby for my first semester taking 19 units.Happy Holidays

Sandwiches, Football, New Year's Kisses

Big shout out to Ryne Santos for making my one friggen bomb sandwich at daily special price! _lml you Rock! The sandwich was heavenly. Yes I was in Daily Special Heaven. my butta.Well I'm hearing rumors that they're taking all the brass to the Liberty Bowl. That should be fun!! But kinda bittersweet cause I really wanted to spend New Years with Carlos. But we worked it out and we gunna have our own New Years party! Cause I want someone to kiss me on midnight and I want it to be him soo guess we'll just have a 3rd new years party. Memphis time, Fresno time, then when I come back I'll all be jet lagged so it'll be sorta a combined Fremphis new years. lol ok whatever.life is good. life is really good. cept i have to write two term papers and study for finals. it's interesting how i get 19 views but only 1 comment on my blog. interesting. this is me pondering about who really reads my blogs so I'm just gunna make it viewable to my friends. cause i lub them. and i don't want creepy 40 yr old petifiles knowin about my life. 17 yrs old HELLO?!!! I'm fuckin jail bait. lol. k well more hw to do.ok bye bye

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas

It's my favorite time of the year! My mother was feeling the Christmas cheer I guess and took me out shopping then out to dinner. It was mucho fun, plus I got some ideas for some special people.. Well I think I just might be the happiest girl in the world because I'm in love and yep! That's it! My Thanksgiving break was eh ok, all my time not doing homework was spent with Los or with my friends who came back from college. I love them soo much! I went on an absolutely perfect date with my love. I really needed that. We have so much fun together, and he treates me like a princess, and ..I just can't believe I got so lucky as to fall in love with my best friend. OK well I'm going to stop boring you people with my wishywashyloveydoveymushygoey stuff. I'm getting sleepy, and I still have to write a few more pages for psych.

I'm In Love

Yes, I am.And it's wonderful.True loves never die.I'm just....So happyIt's great to be backThis is something great...This is something forever.I'll never be so stupid as to let it slip away. Never .I'm in love.

Practice Safe Sacks, Use a Troja

I would have to say that this was definitly one of the greatest weekends of my life! And one that I'll never forget!!The bus ride was so crazy. About an hour into the ride people started busting out bottles of "gatorade" and "water". It took me a while to figure it out but you know. Then later this foul smell....anyways. I was just in shock cause it was 2pm.On the first day we practiced at Bakersfield high for 3 hours. Then we ate a John's incredible! That was so yummmy! And I made a litle kids day by giving him 2 tokens cause we were leaving and I didn't want it to go to waste. Then off to the hotel.The night at the Double Tree hotel was .... THE BEST FUCKIN NIGHT EVER! Let's say that I LOVE CHRIS WILLIAMS and his wife BECCA!!!!! Okay so let me just say that I'm not big on drinking...but I wanted to try it a little cause it was in a safe atmosphere where I knew people would take care of me. So Chris poured me my very first drink which was a Vanilla Shnapps w/ Coke...so gooood. I was pussy and stuck with the smirnoff twisted stuff for a little then I decided it was time to try something a little harder. So some of my knew found buddies (who I don't even recal their names...but i think one of them plays the trombone) gave me a yeagerbomb but I did it wrong the first time so i had to do it right the second. I was surprised that I didn't feel anything yet so I was a bit confused. So I had a straight yeager shot. That stuff is dangerous. K well for me at least. But that was the extent of my drinking experience and it was all done in Chris' room. Had some great conversations w/ jess and ian and Correy, and some random people. We went room hoping, which was fuckin fun. Then we all hung out in the halls we a very drunk mandy and sarah and me ( i was just buzze) chared a very sober and very scared crystal! So funny. Mandy deserves and award. Then I went to Correy and Correy's room. I spent the remainder of my night there where so many people came and just passed out. Let me say they Nick is so funny drunk and I won't hold it against him that he did some inapproriate stuff, so did Omar, John Holmes ( now that was just scary). That night John, Nick, Jess, Ian, Patrick, and me hung out in the Correy's room. Let me give a big thanks to Correy for watching over me all through the night. . Me and Correy and Ceaser hung out at like 6 then went outside and sat on the Monte Vista sign. Then me and correy passed out in the hall in front of chris williams' room. After that we decided to call it a night and Correy went to sleep. But the room is fuckin nasty so I had to clean. It seriously looked like a bar. But I fixed that then went to bed at 8 then woke up at 9.At 10 we went to play at the WBA prelims where we set the turf on fire (literally!). Then we went to the LA Collessium where we got the harrassed like none other. Then we waited for forever and your mother in the buses. Then dressed played that the tailgait, then headed back. The tailgate was so fun 20000 people cheering us on! Then on the way back we were bombarded with either cheers from the Bulldog fans or stupid assholes putting the Vsign in our face and putting beat fsu on our backs. USC fans are so cocky. I mean they had to harrass the band because they knew we wouldn't do anything about it. But. a marron and yellow woman definitly got slapped back with a sticker when she put a v in my face. BITCH! You don't fuckin touch me! I love bulldog fans!The game was the best game I've ever seen, and I'll never forget. The Collesium was packed with 90000 people! It was a great atmosphere! We put up a great fight! You all know the stats. My voice is gone from screemig so loud. The USC band is a fucking joke. If I ever hear that damn song again I will fuckin go mental. They are a standstill band. NOT a marching band. But even then they sucked at music. They repeatedly played this one boring and slow song! And they had a speakers for their 300 members and they you still couldn't hear them when they played in your face. That was highly disspapointing. And when they ruined a stevie wonder song and one of my favorite jazz standards sing sing sing. That got me pissed and I lost all of the little respect I had for that shitty ass, geeky marching er stand still band. No offense... of course But our boys put up a fight to be remembered forever! Our band sounded great and our 60 member even outplayed their 300. GO BULLDOGS!!This is longest post everrr so i'm going to go cause I could seriously write forever!

Goodbye

There are bigger feats that you have to overcome in life, so you can't get distracted by the little things. I'm in an epiphany mood. lol. I'm going get my life on track. Latley things have been rough. . And I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure I stay on it. My relationship with my parents have been pretty terrible ever since I tried to shut them out of my life because I didn't think they would understand. I've been falling behind on some assignments, partially because I've been so drained, and because I just plain procrastinate. If I keep this rate up there's no way I'll get into any law school. I'm realizing so many things that I really need to focus on. Some interesting things I heard today: "Live like an attorney when your a law student and you'll more than likely live like a law student when you're an attorney." I keep saying I want more independence but I'm not doing really anything about it. Finals are coming up just around the corner. There's no room for stupidness. I've realized that in a matter of seconds your entire life could be turned upside down, and it's because of one bad mistake. No more temptations. No more excuses. This is it.My goals:1.Keep my 4.0 GPA2. Get my lisence3. Go to all my classes4. Get practice LSAT books5. File through Law Schools, and make semi final list of choices.6. Eat better. Not less. Just better.7. Get my abstinence/ promise ring8. Get a car9. Visit Law Schools10. Buy X-mas gifts.11. Apply for schoarships and grants12. Save money.13. Get a job.In a few months I'll see how far I've come on these goals. They may not seem important to you but they are to me.Today I realized that I need to focus on more important things, and things like this just distract me from work. So for now let me say goodbye."What lies before you, and what lies behind you are small matters compared to what lies within you." - Emerson

Something Kinda Wonderful

It's like this..everytime I speak to him it's like the world just stops for the two of us.a million things could be running through my mind and i'm completely shattered on the inside and the first thing i do is dial his number without realizing it.it's like second naturelast night when things just went completely upside down, all i had to do was hear his voice and i felt safe againnow how many people in the world can do that?and this morning when i felt like a completeand i had to go to the parade.i see a missed call and a voice message on my voicejust knowing that he cares enoughjust knowing that he loves meit's all i need.it made me realize who really cares about me in the world.and i love him with all my heart

I Quit Life

what an amazing lie.words just can't describe.mabey i'm just angry.or mabey i just don't care anymore.or mabey i just need to get away.either way.i quit lifeyes. yes i went there. and i don't care.

Take Me Back, Into Your Arms, There Are No Strangers

Have I mentioned how completely rad Chris Williams is? yeah he's the bombdiggity. totally brightened my night yesterday.Word to Ryne. You're the Buta to my Bread.I was able to chill with some cool people today between practices. Crystal is probably the freakiest chicka I've met. Not like wierd. But ok she does some crazy stuff with like ..Anyways. mat, ryn, duff, crystal you guys rock. freddy sucks cause he tripped me...loser. Oh adventures to Uncle Harry's . Fun Fun.Patrick is like hellllllllaaaa gangsta. If ever you hear him a gyasi fight...it's the funniest thing ever i lovem. but then again i'm pretty gansta. jp :P Yeah totally got my pimp walk on w/ jacobs fatty hatt. That guy rocks.This week ..ugh who am i kidding MONTH has been effin busy. I'm getting use to getting no sleep now. Last night I got 2 hours..that's a record..Well yeah. I havn't been able to hang out with people so today was really refreshing even though Freddy is an a hole. jp. you just suck alot.So i'm going to do a few more papers cause tomorrow is the big Boise game. Then friday is vet's day parade. and that night I'm going to be chillin w/ some of my old friends Janis, and Alyssa and MitchhhhhhODE at the BHS game. It's going to rock finnally getting to see my alma mater and best buds again.Friday I will be out at the Law Confernece in L.A. int'l Airport. How crazy is that. I'm going to get all prepped up in Law School shiat. Bombdiggity. yeah. I'm so stoked. It might sound boring to ya'll but I can't wait. I'm going to see Stanford, Yale, UCLA, Cornell, Hofstra, Harvard, NYU, Pepperdine, USC, Washington U, Loyola U in Chicago, CAL, UC Davis...those are the important ones. But there's over 150 law schools from around the country so yeah. rad.totally diggin O.A.R.

Uh Fk Hstry

Uh.. holy shit. I'm still awake. It's 5:20 a.m. and I've been doing these gawd damn history essays since 10pm yesterday night. I've gone through 2 redbulls. ha. I don't feel tired, but my eyes feel like they wiegh 5 tons. Uh i dunno. Uh so yeah fuck history. cuase ihstory sucks majorly yea. and yeah. who needsfuckin history enyways?! oh man. uh . screw this. y the f am writin in this thing when i should be sleepin? w./e i guess i'll just not sleep tonight again. haha i've got to catch up on some psych reading anyways. Afuck history. i'm in a pisssy mood right now can u tell? hehe ehe stupid parade had to go and screw me over some more. gawd damn! i'm going to break down riiiiiiiiigggghtttt!!!!!!!!!!!! NOW!

Chasing the Ghost Of A Good Thing

Sometimes I wish I could just leave. I wish I could just get away from it all..just go to Vegas. Mark is so my hero. I wanna just leave, do everything stupid and come back refreshed and start my life over. But for now I think I'll just run...It's gotten to the point where I can't stand staying couped up at home I just feel suffocated and I just run. I run to any place that doesn't look familiar, and then I return. My parents treat me like a felon. I thought I'd get some freedom, but if anything they've latched on even tighter. They treat me like some imbicile. Keep throwing my age in my face, the break, my friends, I get no credit. I would love to just go out and have fun, but I have so much work, there seems to be no time left. I miss the girl I used to be. And I hate the fact that I've changed so much. It's wearing me out. So don't be surprised if one day you can't reach me.I'm sick of it.Keep thinking want you want.Close-minded. Ignorance. Typical.I won't take it anymore.I'll just up. and. Leave.

Do You Remember?

Current mood: peaceful

WARNING THIS POST IS .. sappyI Remember when..We went on the San Diego Cruz and everyone who liked anyone got their hearts broken.I used to go to Brenden's tennis practice and hold his sweater so that it wouldn't get dirty, but mainly cause I had a crush on him.Telling my parents I had a sectional and then going over to Bryants just to eat and do everything and nothing.Chillin in the park in Selma before preforming, and totally ravaging the ice cream man when ever he drove by.Going to Micky D's with los, bo, duf, bryant before tuesday night practicesEating lunch outside the leadership office cause that was the place to be...at the time lolOff campus lunches...starbucks, quiznos, taco bell, trader joes, hungry bear, que pasa.When everyone who was anyone went to Denny's after the gameMy first kiss....lol...awkward...My first break up....kyle mcdonald...My first (and only) love....Carlos FernandezIAJE New York Trip...walking down time square getting hassled by street vendors..and playin in the huge toy store, the deli across the street, subway, going to the site of 911, watchin Hiromi live, preforming Monster, brian nunes falling of the stage, the people havin sex in the stair well of the Hilton, ferry rides..Getting a call from Jacqui telling me that Mr. Shaghoian passed away.Kevicia doing Angelique's hair...Lying down in Carlos' lap, when he told me he that someday he's going to marry me...Having snowball fights at the rest stop on the way to Reno...drying our socks from the snow on the window ledge of the bus..our first kiss outside my house...Star gazing outside my house with caramel frapps..Getting detention for dress code..Holding hands in class....I remember when it was just you and me....and nothing could hurt us. Do I miss those days when everything was just so simple. I could relive those days all over again....

I need to write a song

wtf. I don't understand guys. Just guys in general. Like... ugh. whatever. I've had enough. There's just no winning is there? Don't even get me started on my parents. Crazy ass leachy control freaked parental units.. just. wtf?I need to write a song.It'll be called..."I'm about to Cuss"

It happens to the best of us

mood: indescribable

never again...I just can't do this anymore..I need my life backI guess when you realize how quickly your entire life can turn upside down...you just try harder to get it back.Imagine this.3 days a go my life was perfect. I had everything I needed, and everything I wanted.In 72 hours I managed to fuck it all up.Now I feel like I'm stuck here asking myself "how the hell did I do that?!"But there's just no choice but to pick up the pieces and start rebuilding.I can't do this emo crap for long. I miss that girl who was honest with herself and to others. That girl who was happy just being herself. She was delightful...

I'm really sorry Steven, but your bicycle's been stolen

reallly diggin the decemberists and the long winters right now..hipster trap? i think so. loli love re discovering past loves.reminds me of the good ole days

I'm really sorry Steven, but your bicycle's been stolen

reallly diggin the decemberists and the long winters right now..hipster trap? i think so. loli love re discovering past loves.reminds me of the good ole days

Una dia en Stanford con mi novio

It was amazing seeing Carlos again. I hated saying goodbye again, but it's just something I have to learn to deal with. We spent the day meeting his roomies, buying textbooks, printers and computer stuff and stanford gear, looking for his classes ( Big day tomorrow), visiting Allen Jamison, taking walks around campus, setting up his computadora y other stuff, and just sitting together cause that's the best thing in the world. I have to say he is quite the ladies man. lol. He is definitly the sexiest thing in all of Stanford land so it's no wonder all the ladies are gaga over him. jelous you say? mabey a little. HANDS OFF girls he's already got a fiance. His dorm room is way cool and it's pretty spacious compared to most. I can't wait to live in the dorms next year. The Stanford campus is beautiful, I cannot wait to move up there, hopefully for Law School. It's definitly my number 1 on my list. After hanging with Carlos, his parents took me to dinner at a meditteranian place, then as always GELATO!! So we took a pint and a wrap to Los for a lil last minute surprise. I love his parents. Just talking to them you can tell they love Carlos alot.Well I'm off to bed, long day at school tomorrow! Good luck Carlos, and Allen, and Victor and Mitchell on you're big day tomorrow!!!! You guys will do awsome!!

Dear, Palo Alto

I'll be in Stanford tomorrow. It's going to be bitter sweet. I cherish every moment I have with him; and at the same time it hurts to see him and know in a few hours I have to say goodbye...again..

LAME!

Music 74 is LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME LAME x INFINITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THE PROFESSOR IS FULL OF SHIT!!!!DON'T EVER TAKE ISHIGAKI.. EVER!

I hate Goodbyes

I said goodbye to Carlos this morning an 5:04 am.

Hey Baby

Current mood: mellow

Hey everyone! This is revolutionary. I finally figured out how to use this thing. It's pretty neat! Well, yesterday was the first football game! The dogs whipped those weber pussycats 55- 19! Football games are actually really fun now! We do this crazy fun Bonefare we the bones and tones run up and down the football stands and play the bonefare to the audience. It was so much fun! I didn't get home till 2am today and I slept in till noon. That was awsome! Carlos came to pizza last night which was great! I love spening time with him. He'll be leaving in 9 days though.. I'm going to miss him so... Well he's just my favorite person in the whole world so of course I'm dying inside... But everything will work out.

countin down was never easy

Days and 32 Minutes..Something is seriously wrong with me... I'm going so effing mental!! Dammit...I've been having these really really huge ass mood swings latley. I hate it. Sometimes I just breakdown and cry in the middle of doing something. Especially when he has to leave my house. Gawd, I'm so emo. But not in that weird tight pants, fruity hair, tyler cravens sorta way. The way Greg always complains about. It's the " my life is over because he's moving away, and all those smart pretty girls are going to hunt him down like carniverous beasts" sorta emo. I don't know. I'm just scared I guess. I know I shouldn't be worried about anything because it's Los and he wonderfuly perfect in every way and he loves me, and I love him with every breath in my body. But, who wouldn't be scared of change? I for one... hate change, with a forceful passion I truly possess the darkest hatred for change. It just tears me apart from the inside out.

Great food, Great people, Great night, Great times. My 18th!

Now...I just gotta say that I have the greatest people in my life. My awesome parents who threw one classy party at Trelio in old town, complete witht the cocktails, hor d'oeurvres, chipotle salad, steak, and 3 tier cake! Uncle, Auntie and Jenna who came from Delano. They are truly the greatest, most loving people in the world. I love them so much!My friends..who could live without you guys! Thank you all for coming, you guys really are something special. The night was perfect. Had one delicious dinner thanks to all the wonderful people at Trelio. You all must go there and feast on their 16oz rib eye steak! SOOO good! After gorgeing ourselves we did a lil dancing, and took a butt load of pictures! Or tried to! haha! Dj kept playing techno. lol. A bit ruff to dance to. But it's all cool cause afterwards shantel, patrick, euge, and justing took me out to my first clubbing experience at the Red Room. After we all left Trelio, Shantel and Shaleen came over and helped me change into something cute to wear to the club. Then went to Shantels to change, then finally headed to the Red Room. The bouncers are way funny. I showed them my permit. Yes my permit cause I dont have my lisence and he was all "DAMMMN just Barely!" Anyways dancing as wayy fun despite those creepy guys sitting on the wall staring at us the entire time. We definitely have to go more often! Leaving the bouncers were all like "Asian Taffy!". It was hella funny. Thank you to everyone that made the night so memorable! Here's to an awesome 18th!!