I kept thinking you know what? I realized I am so completely worth it. I deserve much better. Why do I let people walk all over me? There are these guys who are smart, sexy, and funny....and foreign... and they find ME attractive. And I shoot them down. Why? Because I don't feel a connection. Who knows. I think the reason I still think about Rafael is because I don't completely understand what happened. How he could have...just...lost interest in me? I thought about the park, our first kiss, the crazy times we had getting in trouble, our fights, and our pull throughs, him calling me in mexico, calling him from florida, philosophy class, pismo, san francisco, the entire fucking summer, NWC show, him telling my friends how happy he is, meeting his family, spending time with his friends, going dancing with him....everything... then I think about how he made me believe he wanted me, that he wanted it to work, giving me his schedule, trying to encourage me that even though it'll be hard we can get through it.....and everything just becomes a blur. Where did it go wrong? How can someone just loose interest? I really just don't understand.
I am attractive.
I am sexy.
I am intellegent
I am beautiful.
I am loving.
I am caring.
I am driven.
I am a hard worker.
I am worthy of much more.
I am me.
dry your eyes jenny. you've got to walk away now. it's over. he won't shed a tear for you.
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